Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
