I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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