I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
