Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
