Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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