Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize