Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
