is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
