TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
