I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize