I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
