my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
