You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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