U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize