Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
