Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
