I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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