With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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