I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
