we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
