Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
