He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
