So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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