Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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