Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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