Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
where are my eyebrows?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
