It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
