It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
