You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
