You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
