I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
