I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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