I'm eating all of the evidence.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Too much gin, very little bucket
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Randomize
