Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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