as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Randomize
