Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
