My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
