just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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