His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
operation harelip BJ is a go
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
