yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It's not a walk of shame if you run
A bitchslap is in order.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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