shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
