haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
