Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
