I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
