i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
