I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I wear drunk well.
false alarm, still single
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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