I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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