I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
