Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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