I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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