bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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