I'm going to jail i love you
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
