it was like his penis was on wheels.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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