Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
