i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize