True but thats because hes a fetus.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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