woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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