it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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