I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
