I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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