I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
