a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
