stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
