forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
