youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
sarcasm needs its own font
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
