Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
