Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize