I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
