Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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