Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
These tits shall not be calmed
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
